Group Project.... (the whole class groans).

There is a strange paradigm that is set up by the education system to help students function in "the real world" and that is: The Group Project. I theorize that it is actually some kind of strange form of punishment or retribution set up by teachers because they actually know that your dog didn't eat your homework, you did not have 7 aunts pass away this semester, and you WERE texting even though you didn't think the teacher knew.

In college teachers usually announce these projects at the beginning of the semester allotting enough time for groups to meet, assign research to specific people, work together, and beat out a project that would receive an honorable mention from the Nobel Prize committee. This never happens.

In reality, the group project is more of a problem that you originally just avoid looking at or thinking about until it becomes a problem so severe that it is not only unavoidable, but TLC is calling to set up a special about it.

As is the tradition of the last few weeks of the semester, group project season is in full swing. I currently have two of these little babies hanging in the balance. (Shout out: If you're reading this and you're from my 442 class, I still need your PowerPoint slides.) The real question here is, what makes these projects so awful? Doesn't the idea of splitting up the work seem awesome? Shouldn't it be fun to meet new people?

The answer is: No.

Group projects are just strange. You want to work hard, but you don't want to be a show off. You want to voice your opinion, but you don't want to dominate the opinions of others. You want to get a good grade, but you don't want to be the person who takes over the whole project and has to lead the whole group. You want the project to go well and you want a good grade, but you don't want to do all the work. It is hard to negotiate these ideas and find balance among people that you don't know well.

Maybe your teacher is right... maybe there is some real world application here. Maybe group projects teach you how to deal with real life things. Hopefully in your future job nobody has to assemble the cover of a piece of classic literature from candy (yes, that's real.) or maybe they will, if that's what you're into. At the end of the day though, maybe you can take away some greater meaning from the group project and hopefully not get into a fist fight with your group

Here are some real things you can learn from a group project:

#1) How to deal with people who roll their eyes. You suggest, they roll their eyes. Do they have better suggestions? Nope. Do they suggest anything? Nope. They just roll their eyes and text on their phone during every group meeting. Haters gonna hate, what can you do?

#2) How to take control or sometimes let somebody else. Sometimes you're the boss. Sometimes you aren't. Both are okay. Ultimately, it's your grade and you have to do what you can. If somebody is begging to do the PowerPoint, it wont kill you to let them. If nobody in the group is stepping up for anything, maybe you should.

#3) Don't wait until the night before. Just don't.

#4) The font probably won't effect your grade. If it's a tiny detail, there is no point in arguing. Save your breath for more important things than creative control.

#5) Sometimes you really do meet cool people. If you're lucky, you might end up in a group with somebody who is really awesome. Once in a while you get placed in a group with a stranger and they turn out to be a good friend or maybe you just make a connection. Who can complain about that?